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5. The Pyrates

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There are more photos from the programme below. Selecting any of the small thumbnail images will show a larger version of the picture in the main part of the page. »

The Pyrates by George MacDonald Fraser - Motley Crewmember

- a bewildering variety of parts!

This larky romp for BBC2, based on the book by George MacDonald Fraser, was meant as a kind of adult pantomime for Christmas. With a great cast including Tom Adams (for years the voice of DHS Furniture!), Josette Simon, 'Nosher' Powell, John Savident and Marcus Gilbert, the whole action was filmed against blue-screen and then inserted into wonderful filmed backgrounds, giving the impression of 1940s cinema lobby-cards brought to life (and incidentally saving the production a packet in location costs!)

Another bit of clever cost-saving (though it was also a very funny idea) was to have the same group of performers to appear as all the various pirate crews, in a bewildering variety of make-ups and costumes. With a mix of veteran stuntmen and fighter-actors, the 'motley crew' were a disreputable lot both on and off-screen, and we had a huge laugh during the filming of the show, constantly reducing each other to fits of laughter by appearing in more and more outrageous wigs, costumes and make-ups! Honestly, a bunch of grown men behaving like kids with a dressing box! Among the crew were such great characters as Terry Richards, Max Diamond, Steve Emerson and Derek Ware as well as my old friend Steve Wilsher.

My greatest regret, though, was the peg-leg. Or rather the non-appearing peg-leg. One of the crews was supposed to be made up of the 'scum of the seas' and we all rushed off to the costume department to ransack it for various hideous acoutrements. Stupidly, I decided to trump the various eye-patches and hooks that everyone else had acquired with...a peg-leg. I wore it for an entire morning, through lunch and on into the afternoon...and it hurt like hell! But everyone agreed it looked fantastic! I gritted my teeth and struggled through the various scenes, suffering for my art, consoling myself with the vision of how great it was going to look on screen. And when the show aired...it was never seen! Apparently, due to the limitations of the blue-screen process, the director had never been able to get the right camera angle to cover me full-length. So there I am, only ever visible from the waist up, and only I know that the peg-leg is there! Well, the proof is in the picture below!